‘OK, are we all ready? Right, so the next workshop is entitled: How Long is a Minute?’

Stanley picked up his unfinished mug of tea and wandered outside without saying anything more to us.

I duly wrote down the title on my notepad and sipped my coffee.
 
 

How Long is a Minute?

We sat and waited for his return.

‘Where do you think he’s gone?’ I asked Betty.

‘For a cigarette?’ she suggested.

‘What another one?’

‘Maybe we’ve stressed him out,’ she laughed.

We drank our coffee contentedly and chatted about the previous workshop.

Stanley returned and looked at us expectantly.

‘So what have you been doing while I was outside?’

I shrugged. ‘Nothing. We were waiting for you to come back.’

‘Oh waiting for me to come back,’ he repeated thoughtfully, ‘and how long did you wait? Any idea?’

‘Not long,’ Betty contributed.

He pointed to my notepad I looked at the words. It said

How Long is a Minute?

 

Oh I see. You were gone for a minute,’ I suggested.

He sighed exaggeratedly. ‘Well done. I’m glad you’re both awake. So this minute, how long did it seem to you both?’

‘Not long at all,’ Betty ventured, ‘in fact, we didn’t really miss you, we were chatting.’

‘Oh, chatting were you?’ he lifted an eyebrow inquiringly. ‘So tell me, while you were chatting, what were you aware of?’

‘Aware of?’ Betty looked startled. ‘Oh I didn’t know we were sup?posed to be aware of anything.’

‘I didn’t know we had started,’ I objected.

He paced around the caravan observing us, and I realised that this was not Stanley talking to us. Our mentor, Ti Ming had returned.

‘So now we have established that we have in fact, started, could we ask you to cast your mind back to the minute that I was outside – and I can confirm that it was exactly a minute,’ he smiled, showing us his watch, ‘what was it that you noticed? What did you see, what did you hear, what were you thinking?’

‘Oh.’ Now we realised what he wanted, we considered the question.

I answered first. ‘I was aware of you going outside.’

‘Very perceptive,’ he nodded gravely.

I smiled and tried harder. It was difficult to think what I had been aware of, and yet it was only a few moments before.

‘I was aware of needing a cigarette and wishing I could join you.’

Betty contributed.

‘Very good,’ he bowed to her inclining his head, ‘you were aware of your own needs.’

He waited for us to speak further but neither of us could think of anything to say. He clapped his hands together suddenly making us jump.

‘OK. So we will take another minute and can you please retain your awareness this time?’ he looked at his watch. ‘Beginning now.’

My mind instantly started racing. I wrote:

Retain your awareness

 
   
    I looked at the words. What was I aware of? What was I supposed to be aware of? Anything in particular? My eyes scanned around the room trying to take in as much as possible. I felt as though I were on a quiz show trying to memorise the prizes as they passed by. I looked around the caravan, noticing the curtains, pink dralon and the nets needing a wash. I was drawn to the view outside, the trees waving in the wind. I could hear a bird singing. I was aware of Betty sitting next to me, her shoulder just touching mine and of Stanley pointedly staring at his watch in front of us. I felt rather silly and self conscious about the exercise and was glad when he called ‘Time up.’

He let his watch arm drop and looked at us. ‘Before I ask you what you were aware of, can I ask you just to notice whether you were in a positive or negative state while you were observing?’

I cringed and slid back in my seat. He noticed immediately and smiled.

‘And Betty, what about you?’

‘I think I remained fairly positive,’ she announced.

‘Trust her,’ the little negative voice sneaked in before I could stop it.

‘So tell me Bett,’ he asked, ‘what was it that you were aware of during this minute?’

‘I was aware of my foot itching and feeling that I shouldn’t move or I would distract Abby. I felt Abby was bored. I heard someone outside call their dog and there was a bird singing. A chaffinch, I think it was.’

‘Very good, and you Abby, was Betty right, were you bored?’

‘No,’ I turned to look at her, ‘sorry Betty.’

‘There’s no need to apologise,’ she said graciously.

‘The point is,’ Stanley interrupted hurriedly, ‘in feeling that Abby was bored, you stepped out of what you were actually feeling Betty, and in not moving when you wanted to you were assuming that you would dis?tract Abby, and letting that assumption stop you from taking the action you needed to take for yourself and your comfort.’

‘I’ve been doing that all my life,’ Betty confirmed. ‘I’ve been too busy thinking about others to think about myself. I suppose it comes from having six kids and an old man like mine to take care of.’

‘Well maybe it’s time to stop making assumptions about what other people need and focus on the reality of your own needs.’